From his “7 Habits” book, Covey’s third habit is: Put first things first – spend time on things that are important and not urgent.
- First is the important/urgent quadrant. His suggestion: do these things, they should get your priority.
- Next – the important/not urgent quadrant? These tasks you should schedule – you don’t need to do them right away, but should make time to do them,
- Third quadrant? These are the not important/urgent, and these you should delegate and let others do; they need to get done, but not by you.
- Finally there’s the not important/not urgent quadrant, and these you should eliminate.
Basically this habit and the Eisenhower principle are about prioritizing.
Deut 6:4-54
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
then comes your spouse…
Eph 5:28-33
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[a] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
then your children. The Bible has far more to say about marriage than about parenting, but one parenting passage stands out…
Eph 6:1-4Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”[a]
4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Galatians 6:10
10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Ask: how can we put priority first on God? next on our spouse? next on our kids? next on church/others?
The Jacoby’s give a great practical: if you’re having difficulties in your focus or relationships at some level on the ladder of priorities, then look at how you’re doing at the next level up and focus on it first.
For example: are you having difficulty with your kids? then look at how you’re doing with your spouse, get help with your marriage and when you’ve put priority there, your focus on the kids will improve. Likewise, if you aren’t doing well in your relationship with God, it’s difficult to put proper priority on your spouse and kids.
Practical: take some time with your spouse to plan our your week. What are the imporant/urgent items you need to do and what important/not urgent items can you schedule for this week or next? Also, talk about how issus in your marriage are affecting your ability to parent – in what areas of your marriage do you need to go seek advice or help?