A collection of dad jokes in honor of Father’s Day, 2020.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes a-parent.
– Some unknown genius dad
My dad passed along many things along to me: family traits, a love for NASA and space, enjoying a good meal together, and most importantly: dad jokes. More often than not if we weren’t actively engaged in a conversation on another topic, dad jokes would just flow from his mouth, followed by either groans or laughter from our mouths. Many of the jokes revolved around puns, or stories that he had told us over and over, but always told as if we were hearing it for the first time.
Below is a starter collection of dad jokes as a reference for all dads who like to make their kids laugh… or groan… or roll their eyes.
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Why did the math teacher look so sad? Because he had a lot of problems.
What happened to the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered.
What did the police officer say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
How does Darth Vader order his toast? A little on the dark side.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have lots of fans.
What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
Why was the skeleton so calm? Because nothing gets under his skin.
Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shell-fish.
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing. They just waved.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They don’t want to crack each other up.
What kind of cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What did the slow tomato say to the others? You go ahead, I’ll ketchup.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Better not spread it around.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles.
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool.
And finally – a favorite of my grandsons: How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Happy Father’s day, and don’t forget to call your Dad later… well, call him “Dad”, not “later” 😉