Youth and Family: Individually, Intergenerationally, Intentionally

Tom’s notes from a Teen Parent Devo from 8/25/2017.

Lesson Title: Youth and Family – “We’re In It”

Introduction

When it comes to having a great Youth and Family ministry, we’re all “in it to win it”! This includes our Youth and Family leaders and workers, parents and teens.

This lesson discusses three ways we need to be “in it”. This means involved and active not standing by and waiting to see what happens. As parents, we have a key role in making our Youth and Family ministry succeed by being involved individually, inter-generationally and intentionally. We’ll also talk about “ministry practicals” – these are our plans to implement a successful teen ministry based on the lesson points.

Point 1: We’re in it – Individually

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NIV)

After giving Israel the 10 commandments, Moses instructs Israel

First: that generation of parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts was to love God first
Second: they were to teach their children

Note: “you” can be singular or plural, but here all the “you” pronouns are singular: Moses was addressing the nation as a whole but put the responsibility to do this on all in the community individually (but we’ll get to the community aspect in a minute)

Parents: you are the primary teachers of your children, and are the most visible example they have of how to love and serve God.

Ministry Practicals:

Devos once a month to train on parenting and to share parenting topics – will also have “Case study” times for small groups to discuss an issue and then share thoughts on how to address it (eg “my teen doesn’t want to come to church or teen events”, “my teen wants to go to a teen party at a friend’s house”, etc.)

Discipling to ensure you are addressing spiritual issues in your life

Onboarding mentoring – over time we’ll work with more experienced teen parents to provide mentoring to entering parents, with a study series to address some issues teen parents commonly face – being a great example spiritually, how to develop faith in teens, the importance of community…. next topic

Point 2: We’re in it – Inter-generationally

10 Then Moses commanded them: “At the end of every seven years, in the year for canceling debts, during the Festival of Tabernacles, 11 when all Israel comes to appear before the Lord your God at the place he will choose, you shall read this law before them in their hearing. 12 Assemble the people—men, women and children, and the foreigners residing in your towns—so they can listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the words of this law. 13 Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the Lord your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.” Deuteronomy 31:10-13 (NIV)

Here Moses addresses the Israelite nation when he appoints Joshua to lead them into the Promised Land. After telling Joshua to be “strong and courageous” before the people he says what is written in the verse above.

Like the last passage, he emphasizes the need to read the Word so that our children hear it and learn to fear God. We have a community responsibility for raising up our children to love and serve God.

In the past we’ve viewed our church as multi-generational: we have groups for CM, MS, HS Teens, Singles… with the Marrieds are often thought of as different generational groups: Young Marrieds, Marrieds and Empty Nesters!

For the Youth and Family ministry, we need to begin to think of the church as intergenerational, not separate groups by age/stage in life, but families of multiple generations interacting with each other.

Research studies have shown that when a teen has 5 to 7 adult mentoring relationships, they rarely fall away when making the transition to college/singles.

Adults in their lives:

Option 1: daily adult influences from the world, including school teachers, coaches, group leaders (eg Boy Scouts, etc.), supervisors if they’re working along with adult role models from media (TV, internet, music, etc.)
Option 2: spiritual mentors, including teen workers, parents of other teens, church leaders, etc.
Add up how many of these are in your teen’s life daily. How many of each are influencing them? Which do you want to have more of an influence?

Research from the National Study of Youth and Religion – 3 findings:

Parents and Adults are the primary influencers of spiritual formation
- A study found that parents and adults are the primary influencers and the common perception that it is their peers is “badly misguided”.
Youth Ministry programming is important
- “religious congregations that offer teenagers organized youth groups – particularly those with full-time, paid, adult youth group leaders- seem to make a significant difference in attracting teens to attend congregational religious services. Well-developed, congregational-based youth groups with established youth leaders likely provide teens who lack parental support appealing doorways into and relational ties encouraging greater religious participation in the life of religious congregations”
- As parents, we need to support and help serve in events for our teens!
Teenage Spirituality is a reflection of adult spirituality
- mentioned before – teens learn from seeing the adult community around them – if we focus on loving God, God’s grace, serving others, reaching out to the lost – they will see that these are important to us and expected to be part of the community

We need to get our teens involved in the lives of spiritual adults and we need to view all of the teens as our responsibility as a community

Ministry Practicals:

We need to facilitate more interaction of families by having church and small group events that involve families as well as encourage families to spend time together with other families (devo times, vacations, etc.).

We need to encourage spiritual singles, marrieds without kids, campus and others to be involved by coming to teen devos and events where appropriate.

Point 3: We’re in it – Intentionally

We follow a Savior who was totally committed to spiritual formation through family and adults teaching the next generation:

41 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:41-49 (NIV)

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Mark 10:13-14 (NIV)

5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5 (NIV)

As our teens grow and mature during the MS and HS years, they become more and more independent and we have less and less time with them – be intentional!

Use your time to show them your love for God and be an example individually.

Get them involved with spiritual adult role models – teen workers, singles, marrieds – and develop great relationships with other teen families – be intergenerational

Conclusion

We can have a victorious Youth and Family ministry if we are “all in it”. Parents need to be involved individually, taking responsibility for raising up their teen, and the Youth and Family ministry can help by providing teaching at teen parent devos and help with discipling and mentoring. Parents also need to help teens experience inter-generational relationships, involving them in other ministries of the church and having friendships with singles, campus and marrieds. Finally, parents need to be intentional in their example and in teaching their teens how to be great disciples. “We’re in it to win it”!