A good first step toward resolving conflict is to recognize what it is, what the Bible says about it, and some examples of it.
As a start, one question we may ask: Is conflict good or bad?
17 In the following directives I have no praise for you, for your meetings do more harm than good. 18 In the first place, I hear that when you come together as a church, there are divisions among you, and to some extent I believe it. 19 No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God’s approval.
1 Corinthians 11:17-19 New International Version (NIV)
As the Corinthian church struggled to mature in Christ, they found themselves having many differences over matters of worship and of practicing their faith. These differences caused division, and Paul addresses how to resolve their conflicts by making decisions that lead to unity. In v. 19, he states that working through these conflicts is important so that they can better discern God’s will and where He places his approval.
Though conflict can be difficult, and dealing with feelings, sin and hurts leads us to think of conflict as mostly bad, it actually is part of God’s plan to show us His will. We should consider conflict as a good thing since we want to know His will and to be united in our obedience to Him. Despite the many bad things we don’t like about conflict, it’s good if it can be resolved through a godly spiritual process.
If conflict is good, then we may ask: What is it is good for? What are its benefits?
31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33 even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 11 1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 New International Version (NIV)
Paul addresses this with the Corinthians before he lays out the corrections we mentioned above in chapter 11. Consider these three benefits of conflict:
- v. 10:31 God is glorified: when we resolve our conflicts, we become more unified and this glorifies God before others inside and outside the church.
- v. 10:33 Needs are served: when we help to resolve conflict, we serve others by “seeking … the good of many”.
- v. 11:1 The church grows to be more Christ-like: when conflicts are resolved, we follow the example of those who are correctly teaching the truth or are following Christ’s example to love our brothers and sisters.
Finally, we may ask: What are some examples of conflict in the Bible?
From the scripture reference mentioned in the introduction blog post for this series on resolving conflict, 2 Timothy 2:14-26, we find three main types of conflict that we’ll explore in a later blog post. These are listed below with some specific examples from various Bible stories:
- Differences in matters of opinion
- This includes arguments over the meaning of scriptures and in areas of good vs. bad and right vs. wrong.
- Example: Acts 15, the Council in Jerusalem where Paul and Barnabas discuss the conversion of Gentiles with the apostles and leadership of the Jerusalem church.
- Another example: Genesis 13, Abraham and Lot resolve disputes among those herding their flocks by deciding to settle in different nearby places.
- Relationship issues
- This can include communication issues and hurt feelings.
- Example: Genesis 25-32, Jacob and Esau resolve differences involving their birthright and blessing from their father Israel.
- Confronting sin and sinful behavior
- This is sometimes referred to as the Matthew 18 principle, which is important to resolving many types of conflict.
- Example: Galatians 2, Paul confronts Peter about his sinful behavior of showing favoritism to the Jewish converts over the Gentile converts and being hypocritical.
These three basic categories need to be handled in different ways, but with some of the same principles. However, before we look at how to resolve these types of conflicts, let’s look at how to avoid them (in the next blog post).