Q: What do you pray for your children?
At the beginning of school we pray for safety, good friends, good teachers, etc. Even if our little ones aren’t in school yet, we pray for their health, good friends to grow with, and happy hearts. As they get older, we pray for good grades, popularity, getting into a ‘good’ school, making a team, being chosen the captain, etc.
None are bad; we want the best for our kids. BUT: As we think about all our prayers, I would like to offer a prayer to you from the scriptures, one that is not normally associated with our children or their education.
“For this very reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Ephesians 3:14-19
Isn’t this prayer everything we want for our children?
- To have true, deep, knowledge and awe of God – not just knowing who God is or just Bible stories, but who they serve and whose they are.
- To understand Christ and be filled with Christ. To know his character for them to have a character that defines them and what they do, and which gives light to others.
- And to have them firmly rooted and established in love. To be confident in God’s love and our love for them, and to know that we are part of a family that loves them.
We need to help our children’s primary education be that of knowing the one true God and his power in their lives. This is what our forefathers saw as the main goal of education for their children.
In the book, Illustrated Manners and Customs of the Bible (Packer & Tenney, eds), we are given some insight into the concepts of parenting and education in ancient times.
The Israelites provided a well-rounded education for their children. It included religious instruction as well as training in practical skills they would need for the workaday world. They were an agricultural people, so only the religious leaders were taught to read and write.
In ancient Israel, education was in informal process. The parents did most or all of the training.
The religious education of children was the parents’ responsibility (Deut. 11:19; 32:46). No exceptions were made for parents who felt they were too busy to teach….Parents also had an important part in educating the grandchildren.
The Jewish parents’ major concern was that their children come to know the living God. In Hebrew, the verb “to know” means to be intimately involved with a person; Scripture state that the reverence or “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding” (Prov. 9:10). Godly parents helped their children develop this kind of knowledge about God.
Illustrated Manners and Customs of the Bible, Packer & Tenney, pp 452-453
Based on this, I propose that we give our children A ‘HIGHER EDUCATION’.
If we look back at the passage in Ephesians, it gives us 4 principles that we can use. Since we teach most by example, think about how much these characteristics are prevalent in your life. These are character traits that can be built from birth – never underestimate how young you can teach your children.
1) Teach them to Know God
From the beginning we teach our children songs, bible verses, even when they are in the womb. The routines of teaching about God start early.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:7
Fear of the Lord is knowing him in a personal way, being grateful for what he has done, acknowledging his power, letting him lead our lives by trusting that he wants what is best for us (Jeremiah 11:29.) It’s important that our children realize what this means. We shouldn’t be afraid of God, but rather be amazed and awed by who He is, what He has created, and what He has done for us. How do you feel about this verse? Do you have a healthy (spiritual) view of God? If you don’t believe it and own it, neither will your children.
But how do we teach this? In order to make it personal for our kids, we need to let our children know how much God influences our life; how much we need Him; how thankful we are, etc. Even our struggles help our children know how crucial God is to our lives. What we share and what we show our children will influence them the most and they will find their strength and faith in the same place we find our own.
Some practical ideas for accomplishing this:
- Weekly family devotions;
- Daily mini-devotionals; 5 minutes in prayer, a scripture, or a short lesson in the morning, before school, or on the way to school;
- Quiet times/prayer times at night after dinner or before bed;
- Strong relationships with other godly families;
- Dinners around the table – this needs to be sacred.
Everything else we teach will be rooted in these times. We need to be intentional and recognize the importance of being with God as a family. Time goes much too quickly, and before you know it, the opportunities to teach will not be there.
2) Teach them to be Strong
How would you define strong?
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 28:7
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Ephesians 6:10
What kinds of strength are we talking about?
a)Strong faith. Do your children know and trust that God loves them, that he wants the best for them, and that he protects them? Are the confident talking about God and church, and even sharing with friends, teammates, teachers, etc? Faith takes time and hearing/reading the word daily (Romans 10:17). Are you the example, as well as the teacher?
b)Strong convictions. Are you helping them (through teaching and example) to choose right over wrong, and to make decisions that show trust in God. Building convictions over time, and teaching them how to make godly decisions will help them to do it more readily as they grow and when they become adults. Convictions can’t be imposed on our kids; they must be taught and adopted by them, when they see how standing up for Jesus always results in blessings.
c)Strong work ethic. This seems to be one of the ideals that is becoming less and less popular. As a teacher, I saw many times how it was easier for a child to take a lower grade than for him/her to go back and put their best effort in. More often than not, sports, clubs, play, video games, etc., took precedence over a best effort in homework or schoolwork. Colossians 3:23 tells us that whatever we work at, we must do it with our whole heart, just as we would for God. Is that the way you approach life as a worker, a parent, a spouse – doing everything as if you are doing in just for God. We are not talking about perfectionism here (and it is important for our children to know this!). Rather, we are talking about giving our best effort consistently, not matter what that is for us as individuals.
d)Strong Resilience/endurance. Everyone loves a good comeback story. We love to watch people pull themselves back up after failure and go on to be victorious. But what about our children? Do we teach them to overcome mistakes and failures, or do we allow them to sink into ‘self-pity mode’? The world looks at failure as a bad thing – something that means we are weak or ‘dumb’. Even worse, do we try to prevent them from making mistakes, so that they never fail or never are hurt? In a world that wants instant gratification and perfection, our children need to be reminded that failure helps us to rely on God, and that it is through perseverance that we grow. Making excuses for our kids or allowing them to give up when things get tough doesn’t allow them to savor the great victories they will have when they push through difficult times and trials.
3) Teach them to have a Christlike Character
All who were baptized into Christ have been clothed with Christ.
Galatians 3:27
Are you wearing Christ and helping your child to do the same? Christ was humble, patient, loving, inclusive, compassionate, caring, willing, forgiving, and grateful. How do we transfer their traits to our kids?
a) Teach them to Love.
What does love look like for children? Our children need to understand real love and how it applies to our lives, not just the emotional worldly view of love. To do this, we need to be intentional in our lives and in our teaching.
One special area of helping our children understand love are pulling others in, greeting visitors and making friends. If we show the world Jesus through our love, it is important that are children are warm and friendly (in a safe way!) to those around them, including their classmates and teachers. If your child is introverted or shy, walk with them and show them how to do this. If a hug is too much, how about a ‘high five’? Even teaching them to smile and look people in the eyes is huge. How are you doing in this area? Are you a strong part of the fellowship? Do you greet people as they enter your home? Are you reaching out to those around you?
b) Teach them to Respect
The other area that is so important is respect. We teach them to respect us and respect their teachers, but how about our church family? If an adult tells them something, do they stop and listen or ignore? Are we teaching them to respect those of every age, race, and culture in our ministry, our neighborhood, and their school? Again, we need to do a heart check on our own in this area. Sadly, respect is becoming more and more rare in our society. Jesus always showed the utmost respect to those around him, even when He was being challenged, laughed at, and even crucified. How can we show Jesus to others if we don’t make respect a priority in our lives?
What assurance do we have in all this?
“Now to him who is able to more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen!
Ephesians 3:20
We WILL see our children know God, our families grow closer, and our own faith grow when we intentionally invest in their spiritual education. Parenting is no small task, and you may feel you have made mistakes in the past which have hurt your family. The verse above proves that no mistakes are too big to be overcome. It takes making a decision, getting input, praying, and being intentional every day about helping our children learn to know and love God.